Envy is a strange beast: It can creep up on you even when your in the best of situations (the grass is always, always greener.) You have your plan, this isn’t where you want to be but you know it will lead to something bigger, better. And then you happen upon someone doing that thing they were talking about last time you saw them, featured on a high profile blog, getting paid, their younger than you, better than you and quicker than you. They are at that place you want to be, at least their version of it. So frustrating. You look back and start to doubt weather what you have been putting together and building up was actually a big long waste of time. You start thinking your work isn’t really worth much, and what your doing has less value than it did only a few moments ago…

In the past I would have lingered on these feelings: It’s a good way to continue thinking about the projects you want to do instead of actually getting on with them. For anyone who gets caught in that envious hole (something that stifles productivity), remember that this feeling can and should be used to drive you forward, it should be a call to arms, to start things, or in my case right now, focus on what I am trying to achieve, neglecting the need to over analysis; Focus on the important bigger picture, looking for those change opportunities and keep hold of a resilient attitude.

For me, it is time to make a few phone calls, then get back to work.

This ongoing personal graphic design project is a combination of several ideas that played on my mind since 2008. I went through a time where I was doing no personal work at all. I would have lots of ideas, none of which were practical for the professional work I was doing at the time so I did nothing about them, in many cases I didn’t ever write them down. Up to a year later, I would naturally arrive at the same idea. I felt despondent because, although my brain had brought me back to some good solutions to the current problems I had, I felt like I had let myself down for not doing something about it sooner.

Alongside this, I became envious of a few peoples blogs I followed online and of my boyfriends blog. They had been regularly updating their blogs for many years with personal and professional things. Their commitment had made these documents more than the sum of their parts, something wonderful. Although I had been using computers for a similar amount of time, I had no such document, again I felt despondent; Why hadn’t I done something like this in the last decade?

I haven’t worked for most of this year, its given me the time I needed to regroup and give some focus to these issues, this is where Temporary Pleasures steps in: I am a designer, not a writer, I communicate with images and movement, not words. The idea of having a blog just didn’t sit well with me (the irony that I’m now writing this on my blog is not lost on me by the way) so I thought, how about a blog, but using graphics not words? I could collect my thoughts, feelings etc and push them into a design that functions as an online diary or blog. Throughout this year I have been producing one graphical blog entry a month, summing up personal and professional events that have happened to me. It also allows me to explore design ideas I have as I have them. Its a system for emptying my head of ideas and getting them out into the world without the restrictions that come with a professional design environment.

It has meant that I now use a notebook again, something I haven’t done since university, I also don’t look to my job as a place to realise these ideas (at this stage in my career there simply isn’t the opportunity for this type of idea generation/delivery).

For me, this project is and will become more than the sum of its parts. Each design isn’t amazing and isn’t trying to be, I can have an idea, produce it as part of a wider concept and finally let me brain to develop other ideas and this process supports fantastically.

September 2010

To see the current designs, see my Temporary Pleasures set on Flickr.

So I start my new design job tomorrow, this whole moving to London thing is beginning to fall into place. I’ve spent a great deal of this year thinking about many different things to do with graphic design, this has lead me focus less on Photoshop tutorials and perfecting the use of tools; to focus more about ideas and motivations than pretty graphics and getting hits.

Tonight, while on my internet travels, I bumped into a TED talk by Simon Sinek titled: “How great leaders inspire action” and it sums up quite a few points that have been ticking over in my head this year. This is the best talk I’ve watched this year.

[ted id=848]

…safe to say, I’ve just filled 5 pages of my notebook with all this.

I have just finished a mammoth 16 days volunteering first at the Anti Design Festival in Shoreditch working alongside Neville Brody himself. I got my hands dirty with everything from plastering, framing works with a nail gun, hanging 1m type from the ceiling and gallery individualisation.

The very next day, at 8am, I was in Brighton to volunteer for the forth year at the Flash on the Beach conference. I have become somewhat of a veteran here, my duties now include checking in attendees, organising other volunteers, stage management of the Corn Exchange (introducing speakers, making sure they finish on time, getting them water, wires etc), running the “Elevator Pitch” at the Dome theatre and generally being a big help to everyone.

The very next day I was back in London assisting and taking behind the scenes shots with Daniel on a photo shoot with Vicky and Abs from the boy band, “5ive”.

Behind the Scenes